Peel the plantains using a knife, being careful with your fingers since the peel will be tough. Slice the plantains thinly at an angle, so the chips have more surface area for piling on guacamole. Toss the slices in olive oil with the amount of spices that suit you; I’d suggest at least a half teaspoon of each. Once coated, spread the chips in a single layer on a baking sheet and bake at 400° for about 17 minutes. Flip them halfway through and keep an eye on them so they don’t burn.
While the chips are baking, fry up the bacon*, then brown the onions in the leftover grease. You could also caramelize the onions for a slightly sweet flavor**. Fire up the grill, griddle or George Foreman (college students and/or 20-somethings do not discriminate the source of heat) and slice the avocados in half. Remove the pit, brush the halves with olive oil and set the avocados on the grill, flesh-down, until slightly charred– keep an eye on them so they can be removed quickly. Chop the bacon and mash it together with all the other ingredients, then dig in to a bacon-heavy grain-free version of what is definitely one of the top five foods known to (wo)man.
*Your bacon-cooking mantra henceforth: medium-low and slow. Keep the pieces flat in the pan and flip regularly for crispness.
**The caramelizing-onion mantra is also low and slow. Be patient, make sure they don’t burn, and you’ll draw out all the sweetness of the onion if you can stand the 15 minutes or so of waiting.